My Retrospective on Zapped
by CrazyStoriesFromMyTwistedMind
Summary: I complain about one of the stupidest sci-fi/chick flicks ever. What more could you want?


I'm bored. I have nothing else to talk about. So why not a DCOM? Yeah! It'll be great! Oh, wait. The movie's odd. Oh, well, might as well talk about it, then. Introducing:

MY RETROSPECTIVE ON ZAPPED!

Yep. You got it. That movie. Let's continue. Zapped was a DCOM that aired about...Let's say about June 2014. The main premace is that a girl named Zoey performs a hack on an app that automatically could train dogs (HOW?!) into a boy-commanding app. Also, I had a dream about this movie where the unnamed stereotypical blonde diva was named, and this came from my twisted mind so here goes...Comfortable Cierra (Or something like that.) Yes. Comfortable Cierra. I have no idea, honestly. I think I spend too much time playing the Memory game in the Comfortable Castle in My Singing Monsters (LOL). I had the power to control time, prevent things from even happening, and there's a little hint of Clin-Lycan in there (Clinical Lycanthropy, look it up.) Also, Cierra fake-befriended me. I might as well tell you about the movie, geez.

Plot

Zoey Stevens is brought into a family mostly comprimised of boys, and the wedding doesn't go well. The dog spills some crap on her dress, the tables flip over, and stuff goes wrong. But, the next week, the day the family moves into the house, Zoey is reminded of her castle music box her (ex)father got for her on one of his buisness trips. Also, in this movie, there are stereotypes galore. Men, blondes, emos, gamers, poor kids, even nerds. But don't get me started on a plot-point character; 'Comfortable Cierra'. Yes, that's what we're calling her for now on. Cierra is a "I want it, I get it" kind of girl (I'd rather say a bad case of b*tch*n*ss). She is not off on her b*tchy journey alone (Such stereotype, much not friend, very minion), she has a sidekick we're calling "Hard-As-A-Rock Jones". Yeah. Let's move on. Zoey goes to school and boy, Disney tried to include as many stereotypes as they can in a single scene. Yep. So she gets to school and she meets Spencer Boldman's character, (Eeeeehyumm...) "Lone Wolf Davis". Yeah that sounds good. Let's go with that. So she meets him in class, he takes her down to her actual class and then leaves. END. Nope? Okay. So she goes to dance audition and guess who's there? B*tchy b*tch Cierra, that's who. Also, I need to mention something. She puffs up her lips WAAAAAAAAAAY too much and she flips her hair too much as well. Welp, we're dead. She wants Zoey (and the rest of the people to audition) to do her suggested dance. Everybody fails, and she chuckles. F*ck you, Cierra. That's my advice. F*ck. Zoey performs her own routine, and to Cierra's surprise, she gasps like, for example, (Please say in squeaky teen girl voice;) Ugh! Yep. That's it. So, she kicks her out. Zoey pleas to get back it, but then Cierra says, "You're going to join those guys. (insert teenage girl laughter here.)" And by what she means 'those guys', she means the klutzy nerds. I mean seriously?! I would take it! Besides, this movie offends me in two ways; Nerdism is offended overall, and saying one thing: Nerds Can't Dance. Also, this isn't a really believable school. The students don't cuss, they also group up in cliches. Seriously, WTF? I understand this is a kids movie, but Disney, I think I have some regrets about joining your team of Fannies when I was three. Let's continue. After school, some shizz happens and now she's got her phone dipped in water, encased with dog DNA and electrocuted. It then lands in the dog bowl after sliding on solar panels and a satelite dish. Absolute yuck. Disney, this is some twisted sh*t. I mean, RLLY? You would actually expect your phone to do that if it happened? Gawd, Disney. Your writers must've been high on something when they were writing this. The next day, she in in the hangout place where "Fluke Tube Dicky" appears and 'fart bombs' her. She says into the phone, "Slow down," and guess what? He slows down. He is then told to urinate, but it the bathroom. What does he do? Sh*ts his pants. Yes. I'm pretty honest about being high thing. She then uses her power to full content and then Davis gets suspicious about the boys' behavior. Cierra then takes Zoey's phone and shows up at the f*ck*ng basketball game and uses the power to overtake the male crowd. First, she makes the B.B. players dance oddly and then guess what? Clin-Lycan happens. She makes the boys pant, get on fours, howl, and bark. SRSLY, WTF? I really knew that Disney was in some secret romantic relationship with the Canis family. Zoey then plays along with the gag, and then Cierra gives up the power. Zoey breaks the phone, and all is well. But first things last; the epilouge. Two teens, a boy, and a girl, are cleaning after the game. The boy finds the phone in the trash and attemps to turn it on. It turns on, and to the boy's surpries the girl questions him playing with a broken piece of crap, and the boy inserts a command. The girl does the command, and a questionable hint-hint is left for us. First of all, I know about Decsendants, yep, the stupid Ever After High ripoff. But here's the thing, it's Disney. Yes, that's a stupid premace of a movie, you mix a great toy line with Disney Princess branding and you get crap. This is a better premace for a movie.

Plot Rating: 2.5/5.0. I'm sorry, but this is a really shoddy movie plot. It's not unique, there's no special effects, but only if you count the action scene with the hack preforming. If you could write a script, the people can do ANYTHING in the script. All the males do when a line from the script (a command) is said, they "Pray Their Mantises" and looked like someone blasted out the absolute WORST FART IN THE HISTORY OF EVER and then does the action written on the script. I mean, SRSLY! I can through together a better movie with a better plot point. And it could've been ANYTHING that could make the boys go bonkers! A magic wand, a laptop, a pencil, a potato, etc. But C.C., I can't take the amount of cliches and stereotypes in this movie! God! Besides, if I had to take this premace seriously, I wouldn't. If I had to choose Decsendants or Zapped, it would be Zapped. But GOD! This is 5x better than this stupid EAH ripoff. I gave it 0.5 extra points. But lol, I be listening to Thriller, because THIS IS A THRILLER!

EOC, for now.


End file.
